When you realize it’s time for your daughter to start wearing a bra, it’s important first to refrain from saying anything that could make her feel ashamed about her body. The tween and teen years are challenging. Your child is growing and changing, puberty is setting in and they’re becoming increasingly aware of their bodies and how their bodies are (or aren’t) changing compared to their friends. Approach buying a bra for your teen as though it’s a normal part of life. Because it is!
Many of our parents, grandparents, and aunties, in the past, have tended to body shame us, even without meaning to. Often these thoughts and feelings are so ingrained in us, that it’s difficult to realize we’re doing it. And, what makes it worse, is that society treats Black girls as though they’re more mature than they are. Science tells us that Black boys and girls actually do reach puberty earlier than their counterparts, and thus are treated much older than they are, causing numerous issues around behavior and expectations.
We need to be careful that we’re not following what society is doing to our kids, and one easy way to do that is to not shame our daughters for what their bodies are doing naturally. If your daughter has yet to approach you about buying a bra, then it’s important to bring up the subject carefully. But, don’t make it seem more important than it is, this could make her uncomfortable. You’ll need to strike a delicate balance of understanding, necessity, and aloofness, so it just seems like a normal thing to do.
Buying a Bra For Your Teen: When to Have the Conversation
So it goes without saying that you should approach this with tact. In the days or weeks leading up to it, consider having open conversations about bras and wearing bras beforehand. Make sure it’s in a context where you are both comfortable or relaxed; maybe if a commercial comes on the television.
Once you’re on the topic of bras and bra-wearing, or if you’re in the store and walk by the bra section, just try to normalize shopping for bras. Say something like, “I love how there are so many options for people,” and keep it moving. If you think your daughter will be receptive to it, share your own experiences; “I remember trying to buy my first bra with my mom, it was….”
Then, when you feel the time is ready, discuss bra shopping with your daughter. Pick out a day and time, maybe even make a mom-daughter day out of it with lunch or a movie. The more natural and relaxed you are about buying a bra for your teen, she’ll be more likely to be receptive to the idea.
Bra-buying Tips for All Ages
No matter your age or stage, there are a few key things to note. Most importantly, ensure you’re buying the right size. Before heading out to the store, measure your teen’s chest to determine their cup size; often you can have your daughter fitted professionally at specialty stores. This may or may not work – depending on how receptive your daughter is to the idea. Treat it like a self-care, pampering moment and perhaps they’ll be interested.
Where to Buy a Bra for Your Daughter
There are countless options if you’re looking for a good-fitting first bra for your teen. And of course, consider her preferences. If she’d rather shop from home, let her. Here are a few options for both scenarios.
Of course, the first place that comes to mind for bras is Victoria’s Secret, and this may be a great option, especially if your daughter likes bath and body products. Head into the body care section of the store first, to break the ice, and then make your way to the undergarments. Lane Bryant is another great shop that will cater to your child’s needs, but Target and Walmart also have fantastic selections if you know her size.
Online Options
If you and your daughter prefer, it may be more comfortable to purchase a bra online. TomboyX offers a variety of options and puts inclusivity first and foremost. Athleta also has options for younger girls that go beyond the typical workout bra. One final concern you may have is that your daughter is all about buying a bra. In this instance, perhaps they’re looking for a bra that may be too mature for their age. This is where you might need to set boundaries and let them know what you will and will not approve. Just be mindful, that teens are a resourceful group. If you have concerns that she may purchase something that isn’t age-appropriate, on her own, you may need to have larger conversations beyond simple chats about buying a bra.
Regardless of your approach, respecting your child’s privacy (again within reason) is key, and buying a bra for your teen is the perfect opportunity to encourage independence during the shopping process. Allow them to choose styles and designs that they are most comfortable with. Remember, it’s not about what you like, but about what makes them feel the most comfortable.
The Comments
Roshun D
What an on time topic! We’re going bra shopping this weekend. Thanks for the tips!