As a single mom, dating can be both exciting and a little nerve-wracking. I mean, you’re a woman with needs, wants, and interests, but you’re also a mom who wants the best for her children. Balancing what you need from life and your desire for someone to spend time with, while still being there for your kids when they need you is tough. Here are some tips when dating as a single mom and some insight to help you keep your kids’ best interests and well-being in check, while ensuring your needs are met.
Dating as a Single Mom: Safety First
First and probably the most important, is that it all boils down to safety; your and your kids. As a mom, especially if you have tween and teen daughters – though boys are just as at risk as girls – you want to make sure that who you have around and in your life, is safe for your kids.
It’s important to recognize red flags and of course, take important precautions before meshing your personal dating life with your at-home mom life, so you’ll want to make sure you’re taking it slow and doing everything right. Carefully assess your partner’s behavior, intentions, and character; often you’ll need to do this throughout the relationship. Be mindful and trust your instincts.
Set Clear Boundaries When Dating
Boundaries are important when it comes to dating as a single mom. Your children need to know that while you value your role as their mom, you’re also an adult and you have every right to be in a relationship if you’re interested. Set clear boundaries with your kids; this can look like going on dates when they’re with their other parent, or when they’re spending time with friends or other family members, and of course, you’re entitled to arrange for a babysitter or childcare if you want to go on a date.
It’s also important to set boundaries with your partner. Be open in your communication and let them know that you may have to spend time with your kids or take part in their activities; show up at weekend games or attend parent-teacher meetings, so that has to be a priority in your life. Respect one another and you should be able to find a balance that works for everyone.
Transparency is Key When Dating as a Single Mom
Be open and transparent about your intentions with your kids and with anyone you may be dating. As far as the kids go, be open and honest with them, in an as age-appropriate way as possible. Don’t keep secrets or hide things, if you don’t want to have to always watch what you say, and encourage them to express how they feel or ask questions when they need to.
When it comes to the person you’re dating, it’s also important to be transparent, open, and honest. This can mean being honest about your past, your current single mom struggles and of course, your hopes and wishes for the future. It’s also a good time to practice a bit of discernment; don’t be the next Reesa Teesa; don’t disregard your gut reactions and intuition because you’re desperate to be in a relationship. It’s not worth all of that.
Don’t Rush Things
Don’t rush the meeting. One of the most important things to keep in mind is that your kids do not have to meet the person you’re dating, right away. Spend time getting to know your partner, and later if you think it’s worthwhile, consider introducing them to your kids. Your children’s emotional well-being should be first and foremost so don’t bring someone new into their lives until you’re 100% sure that person will be around for a while. The relationship should be stable, serious, and have the potential to be a long-lasting one.
Having your partner meet your kids too quickly is stressful and confusing for everyone; so be sure that person is the right one. There’s no hurry; if he’s interested and truly worth anything, he will understand. This goes to the other point above; if a man is too interested and excited to meet your kids, and keeps pushing the issue, you need to rethink everything and consider why he’s in such a rush to meet your kids. Build a strong foundation within your relationship before bringing everyone together.
Dating as a Single Mom? Don’t Forget to Have Fun!
Finally, have fun. Dating as a single mom should be fun and exciting. A partner should enhance your life, not add stress and anxiety to it. You can do bad all by yourself, we’re in our leveling-up era now. Embrace the opportunity to create new memories with someone, enjoy time together, and prioritize fun in your relationship.
Dating as a single mom is a great time to try to understand what you are and aren’t looking for in a future partner. You don’t even need to be thinking about the future at all! If everyone is on board, it’s ok and fine to take it day-by-day and just have fun, learning, and meeting new people, if that’s your interest.
Bottom line, as a single mom, the sky is the limit, the world is your oyster; you have an amazing opportunity to build the life you want, the way that you want. Enjoy it!
