I don’t hate many things. I hate cancer! I hate most veggies, I hate exercising, I hate overly talkative people. I don’t like a lot of people but I don’t hate them. In business and life you will come across people you simply don’t like. Trust your gut because if your gut tells you something about them then trust your gut…it’s your warning sign. There are many reasons I may not like someone. They could be someone who is always negative, someone who has no get up and go, someone who remains the same day after day, someone who thinks the world revolves around them, etc. You can’t avoid them all the time because these people could be family members, coworkers, your kids friends, even neighbors so how do you deal with them and still have boundaries? Here are some tips on mastering relationships with people you dislike (and don’t forget not everyone likes you either).
Don’t take it personally – People call me bougie all the time. I am bougie when it comes to food because what I put in my body is important but at the end of the day I know who I am and they don’t. When people don’t take the time to get to know you they will assume things about you. This can go on both sides because I sometimes make assumptions about people although I like to make sure I give them the benefit of the doubt. My assumptions are usually on point and I have only been wrong a few times in my life. I never take what others say about me personally because at the end of the day, they don’t know me.
Pick your battles – Not every argument has to be attended. Pick the right ones and learn when to let go of the wrong ones. I needed to learn this in marriage and sadly when I realized this it was when my husband passed away. We had a lot of arguments that were not worth it. There were some days I didn’t like him but I always loved him but some days….he got on my nerves with his ideas or ways of doing things that came about as we got older and I was like this mug…..I argued with him every step when I realized that I didn’t have to attend all of them. I needed to learn when to walk away and let him have it.
Give yourself some time and space – Sometimes you just need a break from people. It’s why I take a noncrank day once a week to think about things that went on that week. See what I can fix and what I can let go and learn how to move on. Disconnect from people emotionally, and physically separate yourself from situations you know will likely lead to negative interactions.
Communicate in a way that’s comfortable for you – I am a texter. For some, it keeps a paper trail and sometimes I just don’t want to talk to that person but I still may have to communicate with them for various reasons. Maybe a coworker that gets on your nerves…only speak to them through email. Maybe it’s a new boo that you aren’t sure about yet….give them a google voice number before you give them your real number just in case.
Do what makes you happy because it’s your road and your walk. Again you will come across people you don’t like a lot of times and you don’t have to have them in your life and if you do choose how you go about dealing with them. Remember people don’t like you either so it’s a two-way street. People have said they don’t like me because I talk too much or I don’t talk enough. They don’t like that I stay to myself and I am too much of a mystery…whatever lol. Know who you are and the real ones who will always love you will always be around.
Any tips for dealing with people who don’t like you?
