Parents today face many challenges and considerations when it comes to raising children, but for Black families, raising kids in the world that we live in – which hasn’t changed much over the years, to be honest – the responsibilities, and issues that we need to concern ourselves with and the everyday challenge of having to do, be and expect more to even be considered on a level-playing field, create unique challenges that we may or may not be equipped to handle. The importance of self-care for Black parents helps the parents and the children they’re raising. Here are some self-care tips for Black parents to add to their wellness arsenal.
Why is Self Care So Difficult for Black Parents
Black parents face unique challenges in so many facets of life, simply based on their lived experiences. When it comes to self-care however, some key factors contribute to our lack of implementing it in our lives.
First and foremost, why is it important that we incorporate self-care? Well, the answer is simple; we deserve it. Not only do we deserve it, but we need to recognize the fact that we deserve it. Parenting children while Black comes with a host of issues that we deal with on a very regular basis. Issues rooted in white supremacy, systemic racism, and discrimination are the basis for these everyday stresses.
We Don’t Want to Be Labeled Problematic
Microaggressions against our children – sports coaches requiring them to wear their hair a certain way, or not wear a certain style to be exact, are issues that our white counterpart parents do not have to concern themselves with. These issues, coupled with biases, threats to our children’s safety, mental health concerns, intergenerational trauma, and so many other issues, are valid reasons why we need to take a good hard look at incorporating self-care.
Additionally, disparities in health care, access to resources, our children’s access to screenings, community support issues, and of course the pressure that we have to be strong and bounce back when someone does us wrong, can all take a serious toll on our parenting. We also fear being labeled the “loud Black parent” when we do speak out when concerns with our kids are handled unfairly.
Self-Care for Black Parents – Embracing a Soft Life
What we need to do is reframe everything we think we know about self-care for Black parents. It’s not just about bubble baths, trips to the nail salon, and the seasonal silk press. We need to understand that self-care, first and foremost prioritizes the everyday joys in our life. It reminds us that we’re worth investing in ourselves every day, from the minute we wake up, until we rest our head on our pillows at night.
So what this means is that we embrace the elements of a soft life whenever possible. Sure it’s nice to do those once-in-a-while extra things like going for a massage or getting a facial, but it’s more important that we recognize that those are everyday things that we get to enjoy, just like everyone else.
Similarly, incorporating everyday self-care aspects into our lives doesn’t have to cost a ton of money. It just takes a bit of reframing what self-care for Black parents means. And, truly at the heart of it, it simply means that we are worth it; we’re worthy of taking care of ourselves on a regular, daily basis.
Things We Can Do to Incorporate Self-Care Every Day
- Take time out for yoga, meditation, relaxation, and mindfulness daily. This can be a walk outside, a 20-minute yoga session, or journaling before bed.
- Express yourself creatively, whether that’s through writing, dancing, art, or music – try to make time for this regularly.
- Increase your social circle; spend time in groups related to your interests, go out and meet new people.
- Spiritual practice can be important, so make time for services and meet-ups that resonate.
- It’s no secret that mental health care is lacking in the Black community, find a therapist and see them regularly.
- Ditch the screens periodically. Getting off of social media for a while can have significant positive effects on your overall well-being.
- Take a fitness class, go to the gym, or just try to incorporate more movement into your week.
- Delegate tasks that are causing you stress and anxiety. Look into laundry service, a meal planning service, or someone to come in and straighten your house every other week.
Self-care is often talked about but for many in the Black community, it’s a luxury that we either feel we don’t have time for, don’t deserve, or are meant to feel as though it’s not for us. Let’s combat this misconception and recognize that self-care for Black parents is crucial to the success of our families.
The Comments
Lanada
Great post Kita. Really good points made about the challenges of blacks with self-care. We have to begin seeing this as a necessity for living well. It starts with us. And you’re so right, it doesn’t have to be things that cost a lot or anything at all – walk in the park, calling up a friend you lost touch with to laugh out loud. Thanks for the reminder.